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a dove

november 1st, 2023

was about to get up and get ready for school today, but i remembered my mom said i could stay home but i had to go tomorrow. which is understandable, to be honest. i still gotta hand in my fnmi history work, and i haven't checked the online stuff yet to see what i gotta do, might do it later. also i'm feeling more happier lately, not sure if that's good or bad but i'll cherish it for now. and before this website gets called "edgy" or "sad" it's just made like that to look cool. i promise, i'm not trying to be edgy and i'll probably change the layout sooner or later. anyways i guess that's it, might have some more thoughts tomorrow. bye.

november 5th, 2023

man, life is getting to be a bit more stressful lately, huh. winter and fall depression aren't going easy on me this year, it seems. i guess it's just that time of the year. i don't know, could be my period. or, just me making excuses to be a bitch. whatever the reason may be, i still suffer at the hands of this ongoing heartache. and honestly, it's not going well. nearly killed myself a couple hours ago, don't worry, i am fine now as i did call a hotline earlier and i'm safe to be by myself. it's just that i've been living this way for creator knows how long, can't even give an exact time and date. it just, started one day. and i dunno how to stop it, honestly. i just sit there, and witness my life burn i guess. that's my purpose, right? i just sit, and stare at my life. i guess everyone starts somewhere though, right? but i didn't think the road to recovery would be so shit. oh well, i'll just keep sitting and staring.